Bride Search !

My first protest against the social system started when My auntie was searching for a bride for my cousin ( US returned Doctor ), I was about 12 years old at that time and this was the third house my auntie had visited with us that day , These people belonged to a lower middle class family, they were poor their house had very simple and modest furniture. The father of the (To be) bride gave us all a warm welcome and treated us like Lords, We were served Coke and a lavish brunch which I know was very hard for these people to afford. We were about ten people who were visiting their house for the first time to inspect the girl, previously my auntie and uncle had visited them alone and had indicated some interest.

As we started stuffing our selves with the Kabab, Samosa, haleem, Coke and many other edibles My uncle asked the Father of the bride what he was planning to give to his daughter on her weeding in response the father of the bride humbly told my uncle that he will give his daughter everything he could afford, On this my uncles response was both shocking and disgrace full, my uncle said " won't you give your daughter a new car ?" The father of the bride was a gentle man he replied in a very soft tone that he could not afford it.

This conversation made me feel like I was stuck in the most awkward position, the Embracement I faced that day was worst then any punishment I ever had faced in school,

but the brute does not end here The Girl was brought in front of us she was a nice person she served my Uncle tea and went to the other room where all the ladies were after some time we left their house On our way back these were the comments passed about the girl by some of the people who were with us

1. Her completion is too dark
2. She is a little short
3. Her teeth look Odd
4. They are very poor so they must not have taught her good manners. ( because there was a bit of tea in one saucer )
5. She will not be suit a well educated Doctor because her looks are not that good
6. Her cloths were too ordinary
7. She was Flat ( yes that is exactly what they said )

That is all I could remember.

These people were told " We are not Interested " the next time they called my auntie

For my and my mom protest I told mom that I will not accompany her if she will decide to go on any other such trip and my mom told her sister that she will not accompany her on a bride hunt ever again.

This event forced my mom to write an article which got printed in a local magazine, On the other hand it made me realize what it is like for a girl to be rejected. Since then I discussed many such Problems with my mother I often used to ask her questions like " Why widows cant get married or earn a living for them selves." . "Why working women are looked upon as bad women" Ect, also a year (or so) a teacher of mine told us how we always rifer to humans by the word He or MEN or Man kind in English literature , since then I started to write human beings instead of " men kind " and was once scolded by my English teacher I remember he once told me " I do not need philosophy from you, I want plain English !" .

Today Time has given my views a new Dimension and I ask people what they mean when they say the word bad women, I ask why we always judge a women's character the moment we see her, even if she is not related to us we still say " She looks like a Bad women ( Do number lagti hai )", Allah has blessed me with a vision and I am thankful of him for that, I try to argue and make people realize where they are wrong and I try to correct my own self when I feel that I have my self made a mistake.

I am not a writer I cant even read correctly but feel things most people don’t, I see things most people don’t may be it is because I had spent a lot of time alone, almost the whole of my childhood. And I am thankful To Allah for this blessing.


P.S. I wrote the whole topic in a haste so it might have some errors please ignore them or you may also point them out to me (will make my work more easy) ;).