Friday, September 29, 2006

Doctors and the mess.

My routine is completely changed, Wakin up at 3:00 and after the so needed cup of coffee during the pre dawn breakfast I cant sleep till at least 2 pm, and when I sleep at 2 I wakeup at 5pm and I again stay up till about 1 am. And Right now my head feels like a big Pumpkin ….

My mom needs to see this new Doctor after Ramadan, he has also been recommended by my cousin, the problem is, I personally know him and I don’t feel comfortable popping into his clinic suddenly one day with my mom... It will be like screaming out laud " Hi friend! Look I brought My Mom to be your patient" .. WAAAAaaaa!!! I want to cry like a baby, I want to wear a Big paper bag to the Doc, Or maybe I will get a burqa :( .. Does any one know a book of do and don’ts of the society. I hope I will figure out something till the end of this month.

Well the doctor thing reminded me of something which will make this post huge:
A month ago My mom went for her regular arthritis examination and the doctor recommended her a few new exercises so we went to the physiotherapist's Office situated in the same clinic This physiotherapist is a Mullah, he is a very nice and soft spoken person. The bed which they use for physiotherapy was really dirty ,, he showed a us few excursuses and then asked me to lay down so that he could perform the excursuses on me. "She is the Patient" I said and he replied "she is a lady it doesn’t look nice, You lay down " and I exclaimed softly " Who Me ?! ". And he replied politely " yeah, take off your shoes and lay down " I though * On that dirty thing you call bed, No WAY!! * I Quickly replied in a reflex " Why don’t you lay down !! " Who me!!" he exclaimed , He looked totally confused then after a pause he said "don’t be afraid I am not giving you an injection, you are an educated person, I am not gonna hurt you ". * Ooh it's Not You, It was that filthy BED of yours I was avoiding you ^&%&%* I thought and with a smile I laid down. I drove back as quickly I could from the Clinic and the shower was the first place I stopped when I reached home.
I hate clinics, I hate filthy bedded Clinics.

It's 12:40 already, have to go sleep now need to be up at 3:00 am and have a meeting at 9:30 am .

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Power breakdown

I don’t know if the electricity will remain available to complete this post, It started last night at around 3 am when the power went off, it was resumed at around 6:30 or something when is when I slept, I woke up at 11 and finished my morning cup of coffee by 12, which is when the power went off after six house of baking in the heat the electricity resumed at 6 and as soon as I switched my computer and went online it went off again for another 2 hours after which it came back for about 30 Minutes and went off again for another 2 hours. I had plugged in my mobile for charging in the morning when it was completely drained and I got it charged completely at about 10 at night.

Today after the first "Sehare" (Breakfast before the fast) I went online and they shut off the power for about 20 minutes but now the power is back and I hope it ramins this way.

I had composed an SMS for Ramadan greetings and in the haste have coppied and pasted the same to everyone I knew In Orkut. . The same message for every single person I know .. Looks weird. It's better to send nothing instead ..

It's 7: am. Now getting sleepy cause haven't slept the whole night ..

Sunday, September 17, 2006

School days

Wait a minute I need to write this today, I want to write now. Pardon me for errors, might review tomorrow .

Saw my School (First School) Principal after ages today, remembered her saying " Books Bought from junk have no real value, you should not bring such books to the school " She told me that when I was in class 3 or may be 4, The subjected books was a journey of Prose and poetry comprising of stories like "Oliver Twist" and poems by writers like W.Blake. I knew she was wrong then, but then I couldn’t argue with her about this. Although her school gave me a lot, but it took a lot from me as well.

In class 4th, in my finals, I had fever and could not prepare for the test so I failed in one of the papers. After a test I was promoted to class 5th but I missed out 20 days of my new class, I had about 20 pages of Science homework to complete, the time given by the teacher was 5 days, after 5 day of hard work I submitted the assignment and it was completely cancelled out fro the writing was not too good, this time I was given 7 days to complete 30 pages. After 7 day on submission my work was instantly cancelled out again.. Now I had around 50 pages to write, I was really Bored of writing the same stupid again and again but I still had to .. At the end of the term I had the whole work in photocopy, my own notebook was about five times more filled then the whole of the class and I still needed to write the whole text again.

Because a teacher was just pissed off at me I had to repeat Class fifth. This was the worst time of my life, My old classmates including the niece of the principal were making jokes on me. New classmates were the devil's product, this was the most mischievous class of the school. I fell pray to the most notorious group of that class. During my favorite period of English literature they forced me to write a couple of sentences. To get them off my back and so that I could listen to the lecture of my teacher (She was Doing her PHD ) I wrote it for them on a dairy. They copied out the letters in my hand writing and wrote " Jamal Love XYZ" then they started blackmailing me. They shouted Jamal your XYZ during the class and I to keep their Mouth Shut gave them My Lunch Money..

Some time later there was a science exhibition, the Photographs of this event were on sale, They Bought XYZ's photos on my role number. Later I was caught and at the end of the term was thrown out of the school. I told the Principal everything, she knew my 6 year old record, I had never even raised my voice against any one but she didn't want to believe me.

Three years later I was in Metric in another school when the Brother of this XYZ paid my house a surprise visit, her sister (XYZ) was getting Fan mail and gifts, and he though I was the sender.. My parents investigated the case and it turned out that their apartment's watchmen used to get these gifts for some other person.. I was proven Innocent. The classmates I got in this new school were all cheep, their hobbies included watching through neighbors windows using a telescope to spy on girls, Obviously I couldn't hangout with them so I dumped them or I just stopped seeing them.

In all this chaos in life I lost all my friends, the good ones were left behind in the old school , the new ones were blackmailers or freaks. The ones I found afterwards were back stabbers.

I respect the Principal of my school very much But the fact that my principal never knew who I really was hurts me

also I respect the PHD teacher who is the reason I am who I am, but the fact that she thinks I was a jerk who hurt a girl by taking her Photographs kills me.

Who's fault it was, I don’t know. it's too late for anything

Ok the keyboard is looking like bits of marshmallows spread on a tray, I cant even move properly. I need to go to sleep.

Good Day Today !

Saturdays had been the worst days of the week for me, but today was different, after ages I had coffee with some actual people. I sure need to socialize more often.

Being an artist makes you too sensitive, It's a complicated feeling, I once cried while looking at a painting in an art gallery that's one of the reasons I always try to visit an exhibition when I can be alone with the art so that I can interact with the artwork.

Artists are freak, they all admit this at one point or another, and so am I. But I am thankful to Allah that I have been blessed with a sense to feel the soul. But am I an artist or just a freak, I don’t have a clue and maybe I never will.

The pink pill is workin, and I am getting dizzy, being dizzy is better then being depressed.

When I say I don’t have anything to blog what I really mean is that I don’t want to blog about something that is on my mind, Like just now I don’t have any thing to blog about.

I am Really tired right now, cant even type correctly .. Have to get some rest.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My Cat :-)

Cat :)
Originally uploaded by Jamash.
Well I had uploaded this image at on My flickr some time back, but the picture went unnoticed so today I decided to upload it on my blog as well :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I don’t wanna write a single word, and I also don’t want to stop writing. I want cry, but I don’t know why. Saturdays has always been the worst day of the week, This day my expectations become high and in the end the day let's me down. I don’t believe in blood relations, At times I don’t believe there is any love left in humans, they are all heartless zombies walking on the face of this God Damn world in search of blood. These bloody demons who haunt you, who try to suck the life out of you, they are every where. Where ever they see a Human alive they quickly attach them selves to it and try sucking the life out of it.

I love Children, their innocence speaks of the beauty of Allah, Their smile brings peace, their laughter is music, I often visit the park and watch them play, laugh and enjoy. They touch the soul of the universe. How could anyone take away their innocence. The demons are after them too.

Women are beautiful, delicate because they have more feelings then men, and may be that is the reason the men have tried to dominate them. Men abuse them, they destroy them they shed their blood. Where is the honor in blood shed ? It is like strangling a baby girl to a slow death, the death which starts killing her when she is born and end's her the day this girl becomes a victim of honor killing. If you can not protect them then burn them all at once, lets end the Damn human race, lets end all humanity. But I know you cant do that because Not all is in your hand, you may think you have won the battle but one day, we will be standing right in front of you, while you will be shivering with fear and begging for mercy, but mercy will not come anywhere near you. Because you are not humans but amongst the demon who tried to challenge The Almighty. And For Sure you can't win.

P.S.I have mixed so many things together in just a single post they almost don’t make much sense.